January 2011
120 posts
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wake you up in the middle of the night... →
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“i don’t have the strength to resist or control you.”
– Maroon 5, “Never Gonna Leave This Bed”
a moment in time:
He was always awkward in school. His voice never really dropped and his clothes were always too something or other. His shoes were worn down and he was socially awkward. He was intimidated by other guys and imitated some of the girls, but he was just trying to get in where he fit in. Everyone who knew him thought he was funny and kind sweet, but others wrote him off as weird or loud or boisterous...
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how far will you go to find out what you're... →
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nights like the last:
Forcing myself to get over things has to be the most frustrating and difficult thing I’ve ever put my mind to. It’s horrible trying to convince myself that something so sweet and seemingly innocent or rewarding could be the death of you. I struggle to tell myself that I don’t need those things in my life anymore and that without them I would be infinitely better off. There are...
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“i live for the nights that i won’t remember with the people that i...”
– Drake, “Show Me A Good Time”
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worry about it all tomorrow. →
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unhealthy:
I force myself to stay awake for hours on end. I check my phone every ten minutes. I come up with scenarios in my head; reasons why things didn’t go as I wanted them to. I obsess and obsess and things never seem to click. I never seem to realize that you’re unpredictable and that I shouldn’t expect consistency with you. I shouldn’t hope for the better or pray that...
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give me one last kiss:
You said it. You cut things off cold turkey and decided that there would be no more contact. Almost instantly, I gathered my things, told you to have a good night, and rushed towards the door. I waited… I waited for you to utter some sort of phrase saying you were joking or that you didn’t mean what you said entirely, but I made my way out of the door and down the hall before anything...
“and the stars are aligned but they don’t align for us.
excuse me for i am...”
– City & Colour, “…Off By Heart”
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breathe. let's see if we can work. →
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catching forever:
The sun was lying down in the west and all I wanted to do was watch it as it drifted off to sleep. I quietly sat and waited for the moon to come alive and light the night sky. When the two were sure that they avoided each other, I gathered my things and headed for the car. I kept stopping on the way to gaze up at the stars and wondered what you were doing; if your focus was in the same...
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with such fragile moments we share. →
“people can have the model t in any colour - so long as it’s black.”
– Henry Ford
“health food makes me sick.”
– Calvin Trillin
“be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”
– Plato
i stopped following:
… and I swear it was the best choice I’ve made in a long time. Something in me is changing and it feels spectacular. I swear I’ll be more active here in the near future; I’ve just been adjusting. Hope you guys enjoyed that week of confessions. It definitely made me feel a lot more open and honest. Hope you feel you know me a little better. Enjoy your day.
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a series of lies:
I hooked up with a close friend a year ago and immediately after I warned them that I wouldn’t want anything more from them. I asked them to not get their feelings involved because I doubted I could ever feel anything for them… Well, we kept hooking up and eventually I fell for them. It was going on for a year and now we’re trying to stop… We’ve tried so many times...
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a series of lies:
I am really… I suck at relationships. I flirt with everyone - legit. I don’t care who you are or what you do, if you have something that I can benefit from, I’ll flirt with you. If I am attracted to someone and they express interest in me, I usually instantly lose interest in them. I keep leading them on, though. Sometimes I’ve led them on to a point of no return. A few...
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a series of lies:
I hate people who brag about drinking. Alcohol is nothing. It takes nothing to buy it and even less to consume it… At the same time, I have stories to share. I don’t like telling people because it seems like I’m doing what I hate. Regardless, I drank three days in a row this past week and by the fourth day I just couldn’t do it. I’m tired of drinking. It bores...
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a series of lies:
I tell everyone that I’m a virgin but that doesn’t mean that I haven’t done anything sexually. I just don’t feel the need to give everyone full disclosure. Honestly, the people who have stumbled onto the topic have a better idea of what I’ve done than the people who pry. Oh, and I also started hooking up in the first grade. Once again, I swear I should be ratchet.
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a series of lies:
I genuinely pisses me off when I pour my heart out on tumblr and no one takes the time to read it. It’s frustrating that I have almost two hundred followers but only a handful are actively following me. What’s worse is I hate when people write things like this. Mostly because there is no substance to what they post. That’s life, though, right? Tumblr just frustrates me. I started...
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a series of lies:
I genuinely pisses me off when I pour my heart out on tumblr and no one takes the time to read it. It’s frustrating that I have almost two hundred followers but only a handful are actively following me. What’s worse is I hate when people write things like this. Mostly because there is no substance to what they post. That’s life, though, right? Tumblr just frustrates me. I started...
my short hiatus:
We have a lot to catch up on. The past week has been pretty crazy for me and now I feel like I have an immense amount of things to tell you guys. Sorry about my lack of posting as of late. I’ve just been living life and creating the wonderful experiences you guys love to read so much about. If you do, in fact, love the things I bring, you’ll definitely enjoy the next few days of my...
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a series of lies:
I say that I’m a really classy person, but I swear to God I was meant to be ratchet. I check World Star Hip Hop daily. I watch fights on YouTube religiously. I have seen every episode of Brian Pumper’s reality show - Life of a Porn Star Nigga, or something. I curse like a sailor (I actually almost used ‘shit’ instead of ‘something’). I use the word...
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a series of lies:
I say that I’m a really classy person, but I swear to God I was meant to be ratchet. I check World Star Hip Hop daily. I watch fights on YouTube religiously. I have seen every episode of Brian Pumper’s reality show - Life of a Porn Star Nigga, or something. I curse like a sailor (I actually almost used ‘shit’ instead of ‘something’). I use the word...
this:
I honestly hate this. Everything about this next few hours will kill me.
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pretend heroes:
He was the type of guy that was so public he was private. Everyone knew his name and worked for the people. He was out there every day doing things for whoever needed something done. By night, he was lying in bed gazing up at the stars in ecstasy. Never alone. Either he had a drink in his hand or a blunt to his lips or another body lying next to him. He was what everyone wanted to be and who...
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a series of lies:
I wish I could be completely open about all aspects of my life. I honestly feel like my only secrets are the ones I keep because they’ll hurt other people. I claim to be an open book but the things I keep inside are the biggest parts about me. My best friends don’t even know the half of it.
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letter nine:
Dear Person,
My last two days with you were spectacular and very showing of what this year will do to our relationship. There were moments that I could have done without, but those forty eight hours were some of the best in my life. I honestly hope that the rest of us goes like that.
A week ago, we were at a point where we had a lot that was unsaid. We were still in need of that talk and it...
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“she said she’s better explaining intoxicated,
but that’s when all...”
– JoJo, “Houstatlantavegas”
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“she said she’s better explaining intoxicated,
but that’s when all...”
– JoJo, “Houstatlantavegas”
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houstatlantavegas:
He drove off. Nothing else was said, no conversation was shared. He said what her had to and quietly left the scene. For the next five minutes, she stood there wondering. Each second that passed, and each tear drop that fell, meant another bit of heartbreak for Lauren - Sapphire was nowhere to be found. Security let her let it all out then finally asked her to get into the car. She put up no...
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houstatlantavegas:
He drove off. Nothing else was said, no conversation was shared. He said what her had to and quietly left the scene. For the next five minutes, she stood there wondering. Each second that passed, and each tear drop that fell, meant another bit of heartbreak for Lauren - Sapphire was nowhere to be found. Security let her let it all out then finally asked her to get into the car. She put up no...
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childish voices:
I remember being a child and thinking I was in love. I remember writing songs and singing along to them… all about love. I remember feeling like a lost soul. I remember being told that I was ‘too young’ and ‘crazy’. Those nights where I felt like I was forging it all. Thinking that I was just trying to feel what everyone else said they felt. I miss those days and...
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conquer nothing:
The place was empty… no sounds but those of my own footsteps, the keys jingling in my hands, my bags hitting the floor, and my breath and heartbeat (which seemed to work simultaneously). I took a moment to soak it all in, but I was nervous. My demeanor screamed confident and proud, but, inside, I was cowering like a child. This was something new for me and I knew it was my time to take that...
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conquer nothing:
The place was empty… no sounds but those of my own footsteps, the keys jingling in my hands, my bags hitting the floor, and my breath and heartbeat (which seemed to work simultaneously). I took a moment to soak it all in, but I was nervous. My demeanor screamed confident and proud, but, inside, I was cowering like a child. This was something new for me and I knew it was my time to take that...
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“if one morning i walked on top of the water across the potomac river, the...”
– Lyndon B. Johnson